UC Davis Finals Study Break Humor
A little school humor for our hard-studying UC Davis students from Humor Break and My English Pages.
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying “A dollar per point.” The next class the professor handed the tests back. This student got back his test and $56 change.
Two young men who had just graduated from Harvard were excited and talkative about their future plans as they got into a taxi in downtown Boston. After hearing them for a couple of minutes the cab driver asked, “You men Harvard graduates?”
“Yes Sir! Class of ’99!”, they answered proudly.
The cab driver extended his hand back to shake their hand, saying, “Class of ’58.”
Here is a list of the ways professors here at the American University grade their final exams:
Dept Of Statistics: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
Dept Of Psychology: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
Dept Of History: All students get the same grade they got last year.
Dept Of Religion: Grade is determined by God.
Dept Of Philosophy: What is a grade?
Law School: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
Dept Of Mathematics: Grades are variable.
Dept Of Logic: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.
Dept Of Computer Science: Random number generator determines grade.
Music Department: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (a + and – would be sharp and flat respectively).
Dept Of Physical Education: Everybody gets an A
A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: “Is this a question?” – Discuss. After a short time he wrote: “If that is a question, then this is an answer.” The student received an “A” on the exam.